Kate Rubick, “Nonbinary Mom,” Represents Aspersions and Propaganda Over Facts Common Among Trans Activist Parents of Gender Dysphoric Children
By Justine Deterling
With dramatic increases in young people demanding anti-reality pronouns and underage medicalized body modification comes increasing demands on the rest of society to celebrate this. It comes with demands we lie about the negative health consequences. It comes with demands we hand wave away growing transition regret. It comes with demands we pretend others aren’t harmed by decoupling gender from biological sex. It comes with demands gay and lesbian people “shut up or else” about things that justifiably alarm them. And it comes with demands we acquiesce to anything teenagers say about themselves as long as it’s “gender” no matter how recent, silly, self-absorbed, or mental illness-driven.
Trans activists subject those who don’t comply to violent and sexually graphic threats, career destruction, physical assaults, smearing people, and misrepresenting the issues when opposing people who raise principled and evidence-based concerns.
Kate Rubick, "Nonbinary Mom" blogger, provides an example of an activist who engages in smearing and misrepresenting facts. She has quit her job as a librarian to do "momming a gender expansive adolescent" activism full-time. She has “launched a chapter of TransParent, a national organization that provides support groups for caregivers of trans kids.” She seems to enjoy experiencing a sense of youthful, hip rebellion, perhaps living vicariously through her female child, whom she calls a "gender arsonist." However, teenage girls dependent on outside validation through special pronoun rituals and their parents' insurance to alter their bodies aren’t best categorized as true rebels. It's worth asking why gender-related body dysmorphia is similar to other body dysmorphias but is the only one the current leftist culture glorifies.
Rubick wrote a post I discovered to attack and discredit me and Gender Health Query, a pediatric transition and queer theory watchdog website for concerned homosexual and bisexual people. These parents and other trans activists are not capable of engaging with the facts because the pediatric transition movement and trans activism have become a fundamentalist ideology. It functions like any other authoritarian belief system that must maintain thought purity and ostracize outsiders. This behavior is critical to trans activist parents who are engaging in sterilizing, chemically castrating, and removing body parts from their growing tweens and teens. The thought they are making a mistake is too horrific to entertain, so they demand that no one else consider it.
I will review her article regarding her friend, who mentioned the Gender Health Query website, section by section. It demonstrates the level of dishonesty activists like this engage in. It highlights the entirely different worldviews and moral compasses that exist between people who want permanent medicalized body modifications on minors and those who see this as unethical.
The way this typically goes, I inform or remind someone about my kid’s gender and pronouns by saying something like, “[My child’s name] identifies as nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns.
She begins with they/them pronoun enforcement because these misguided parents believe that adults should teach youth to demand validation from others, not just for ones trying to fit into sex role expectations for one of the two sexes, but for any constructed reality they wish to indulge in. These parents believe that it is kind to teach youth the world owes it to them to participate in this constructed reality and tiptoe around their gender-related emotional dysregulation. It is not kind to do this. This is very different than listening to a young person and trying to understand their feelings and show empathy. As someone who overcame psychological issues through self-discipline and self-improvement, I object to this damaging social shift, not because I don’t care about trans-identified youth, but because I do. I am providing links demonstrating poor mental health in youth and among biological females in liberal circles, especially with “LGBTQ” identities in the bigger picture.
“Progressivism, Sexuality, and Mental Illness”
“When Mental Health Education Makes Us Sick”
“Helicopter Parenting Hurts Your Kids' Mental Health”
While there are low quality survey studies to argue pronoun validation lowers depression and suicide ideation, there are reasons why this is not the best overall way to support young people in the long term or for society. An excellent example of the damage this is doing to our country is in an episode of the Disaffected podcast. The Burlington, VT city council spent precious time and money servicing the ego of one angry "they/them" woman and her authoritarian sense of entitlement to force others to use her pronouns. It's not enough for others to use her name to avoid it. The city council is now seeking to punish volunteer citizens on neighborhood committees who fail to use they/them pronouns in blatant violation of the US Constitution. We see what happens when self-absorbed, unhappy people bend a society run by gender-cud-chewing bureaucrats to their will, and it's becoming fascistic.
Rubick may also have reason to be concerned that less subjective studies using public healthcare data (from “LGBTQ+”-friendly countries) fail to provide convincing evidence that in the long run social and medical transition reduces mental health problems and suicide risk (Dhejne, the Branstrom retraction, and Riittakerttu).
There is reason to believe adult validation is contributing to locking youth into medicalized identities while they are too young to understand the ramifications of this. It is iatrogenic harm as the number of kids who used to outgrow gender dysphoria, as tracked in previous studies over the years, has gone down drastically.
But for some reason people seem not to understand my words as a request. Instead, they interpret my words as an invitation to share whatever thoughts they have about nonbinary people and/or they/them pronouns.
Kate Rubick must understand that when one requests others to speak something out of their mouths in support of a subjective worldview, this is a 2-way street. Others are also entitled to communicate their worldviews. Perhaps her friend believes they/them pronouns are grammatically incorrect, are band-aids in place of deeper mental health healing, are confusing, are annoying, and are self-centered.
On a recent go-round, a friend emailed—with what they considered to be loving concern for my child—and included a link to the site of an organization that claims “same-sex attracted young people [are being] harmed by medical treatments for gender dysphoria.” I have no desire to increase the link relevance of the site, because it espouses hate, specifically transphobia. Therefore I will not include the organization name or url here.
Harm is coming to same-sex attracted youth, and she holds a callous apathy about mounting damage to them. I understand she doesn't care about them, all the more reason homosexual/bisexual human rights activists must. I protest this very pervasive apathy, but I can't change it. If she wishes to call us a hate group, anyone can say the same about her and her circles, who hold contempt for the potentially inconvenient desisters. They may act as a roadblock to the unfettered social transition, chemical castration, cross-sex hormones, and mastectomies and vaginoplasties underage. So, people who talk about them must have their reputations and careers destroyed by using their names in blog posts that lie.
However, there is no information on the site about the organization, nor about the author(s) and/or editor(s) of the site content. And these omissions raise giant red flags about the authority and reliability of the site.
That is incorrect; we have a board/advisory board member page. Her second point is an appeal to authority fallacy. It doesn’t matter who the “authority” for our site is. It only matters if our claims are morally and rationally justifiable, and they are.
At first glance, I was able to identify it as a transgender hate site. I fired off a reply, informing my friend of this, along with information on the SPLC anti-LGBTQ hate groups (this particular site is not included as one of the hate groups, but its rhetoric fits the bill).
“The Southern Poverty Law Center Is in a State of Moral Collapse”
Left-wing social justice organizations (GLAAD, ACLU, SPLC) have become slipshod, extremist, and machiavellian groups abusing their wealth and power to try to destroy political opponents, not people who are hate-mongers. The moderate Muslim activist Maajid Nawaz had to sue them for libel because they did not like the fact he called for less Islamic extremism and terrorism. The Southern Poverty Law Center does smear Gender Health Query and other groups, misleading the public and unethically spreading medical misinformation. Serious groups don't cite Andrea James, a known unhinged trans activist who goes after scientists viciously to enforce cover-up of a primary motivation of transition in heterosexual men, autogynephilia. One of Andrea James's antics included doxing sexologist Micheal Bailey's children, publically calling them "cock-starved exhibitionists” and saying he has two types of children, “those who have been sodomized by their father [and] those who have not.” This is who the SPCL and other once-legitimate liberal groups have become. But this behavior is the norm, not the exception from trans activism.
I also linked to the Policy Statement of the American Academy of Pediatrics, which wholeheartedly supports gender affirming healthcare.
The AAP is an ideologically corrupted organization, and everyone informed of this issue knows it. They have been suppressing attempts by pediatricians to do proper evidence reviews regarding their policies of the type that have caused other countries to claim justification is poor. Jason Rafferty, who has influenced their policies, is getting sued, and so is the AAP. This has caused them to pull a book on “gender affirming care” from publication. They seem to seek to hide information from legal entities who are trying to sue them for their “gender affirming care” policies (whole thread).
She goes on.
2) trans kids are NOT endangered by healthcare that affirms their gender, and 3) it is still necessary to affirm my kids gender and use their pronouns. In truth, the severity of this backslide was enough to make me want to throw in the towel.
The side effects are listed in these two articles and include sterility and permeant sexual damage.
“CONSEQUENCES & PERMANENT SIDE-EFFECTS”
“CONSEQUENCES & PERMANENT SIDE-EFFECTS Part 2”
I have never seen a more sex-negative crowd than people so sure that it is an unambiguous moral good that twelve-year-olds who are too young to have had their first crush should permanently destroy their sexuality for a “passing” “pretty” face. It’s extremely unfortunate that the people who have normalized turning tweens into medicalized “transsexuals” are forcing this uncomfortable but necessary conversation.
Kreher takes the position that parents are forcing their lesbian, gay, and bisexual children through medical transition in order to rid themselves of the burden of having a lesbian, gay, or bisexual child.
The Gender Health Query site never states this is always the case. Diane Ehrensaft herself, the most enthusiastic gender confusion pusher and celebrator of medicalizing minors, has admitted some parents seem inappropriately excited to transition their effeminate boys or tomboy girls. Several other clinicians have stated they see that homophobia is motivating parents. It is well established in research that children with clinical gender dysphoria usually outgrow it and are gay/lesbian adults.
Those who still identify as trans, after the age of 25, may then seek transition.
Gender Health Query says nothing about people being granted permission at age twenty five, only that the brain is not fully mature until age twenty-five, a fact.
In a nutshell, Kreher does not believe that trans kids exist.
This statement means nothing. GHQ acknowledges some kids have persistent gender dysphoria into adulthood. But there is no proof clinicians can identify future persisters/desisters, only time and a natural puberty and growth into adulthood can.
Rubick goes on to blame our site, justifiably seeking to protect LGB youth from medical harm, for bans on chemically castrating and performing surgeries on minors in Republican states. GHQ doesn't involve itself in laws. I testified personally against SB#5599 in WA state because it’s a safeguarding loophole nightmare for runaway or homeless youth, who are now more likely to end up like this:
She also promotes the destruction of fair sports for girls, which allowing dysphoric boys on girls' teams will unfortunately do.
Parents are scrambling to support the massive increase of teens identifying as trans. Most are good people who want to protect their struggling child's mental health and to be supportive of who they want to become, and people are telling them this is how best to do it. This doesn't give trans activist parents some moral high ground to misrepresent facts in public blog posts and expect people to share their "nothing to see here" attitude when there is plenty to see. It doesn't give them the right to pretend "LGBTQ+" people are all somehow in this together, medicalizing tweens and teens, to fight bigots who hate all of us. We are not. Trans activist parents, particularly heterosexual ones, should stop using the term “LGBTQ+” to cover up the fact they actively seek to suppress realistic concerns about the wellbeing and safety of pre-gay/lesbian kids and LGB teens.
Kate Rubick’s Twitter bio
Below is a thread summarizing what was going on at the gender clinic in the UK, as covered in this article. It highlights why several countries are curtailing the practice of pediatric transition and why activist parents like Kate Rubick are not allies regarding the issue of homosexual human rights.
I hope Rubick's daughter does not wind up regretting her amputated breasts and hirsutism if she goes down that path. Regretters will continue to be a growing population. I wish the best outcome for this young person. I mean that. Currently, some of the most anti-body positivity and anti-self-acceptance sectors of society are inhabited by "progressive” mothers. They see cause for celebration that previously unheard-of numbers of tween and teen girls hate being female and are becoming psychologically dependent on identities that require plastic surgery and hormones with health costs, medical resources costs, and financial costs. Activist parents will not be able to force the diverse community of people spanning political ideologies, race, religion, class, and backgrounds, and LGB people specifically, to disregard the damage because those damaged by adults as minors are adults' responsibility.
One can find this is a pattern for certain trans activist parents.