Duke University Christians Won’t Read Fun Home Because of Depictions of Lesbian Sex. Here Are some Fun Bible Quotes for Your Enjoyment

Since some Duke University students refuse to read Fun Home by Alison Bechdel due to depictions of lesbian sex, I thought I would turn my eyes to the Bible for some moral guidance:

After offering up his daughters to be gang-raped by an angry mob, Lot has sex with both of those daughters. People are always falling into random acts of incest while drunk (Genesis 19:31-35). “So they made their father drink wine that night, and the firstborn went in and lay with her father; and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose. On the following day, the firstborn said to the younger, “Behold, I lay last night with my father; let us make him drink wine tonight also; then you go in and lie with him, that we may preserve our family through our father…”

Here God encourages the Jewish army to rape the women of a town after it is defeated in battle (Deuteronomy 20:10-14). “When the LORD your God hands it over to you, kill every man in the town. But you may keep for yourselves all the women, children, livestock, and other plunder. You may enjoy the spoils of your enemies that the LORD your God has given you.”

God commands a woman must marry her rapist (Deuteronomy 22:28-29). “If a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father. Then he must marry the young woman because he violated her…”

God decrees that a woman who has been raped shall be put to death if she doesn’t yell loud enough (Deuteronomy 22:23-24). “If within the city a man comes upon a maiden who is betrothed, and has relations with her, you shall bring them both out of the gate of the city and there stone them to death: the girl because she did not cry out for help though she was in the city, and the man because he violated his neighbors wife.”

Children who curse their parents should be murdered (Proverbs 20:20). “If one curses his father or mother, his lamp will go out at the coming of darkness.” And (Leviticus 20:9) “All who curse their father or mother must be put to death. They are guilty of a capital offense.”

Nonbelievers should be murdered (2 Chronicles 15:12-13). “They entered into a covenant to seek the Lord, the God of their fathers, with all their heart and soul; and everyone who would not seek the Lord, the God of Israel, was to be put to death, whether small or great, whether man or woman.”

Slavery is perfectly acceptable (Ephesians 6:5). “Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ.” Also see (Exodus 21:7-11) (1 Timothy 6:1-2).

Jesus upholds the morality of the Old Testament (Matthew 5:17-19). “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. Anyone who breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven.”

So many upstanding examples of morality to quote, so little time.

I am not just trying to Christian bash here. I have plenty of moderate, intelligent Christian friends and family who don’t take the Bible literally and enjoy church for community and Christ’s message of compassion. But the moral judgment of people who justify these indefensible decrees written by Taliban-like men is suspect. And the irony of Christians complaining of the supposed moral depravity around them while defending a literal interpretation of the Bible isn’t something anyone should take seriously.