Comment From a Person With Gender Dysphoria Opposing Pediatric Medical Transition

EDITORIAL

A person with gender dysphoria sent in this comment to Gender Health Query. Allana’s comments are posted here with permission:

I am a 63-year-old MTF trans-woman who has not transitioned. I have been in the struggle for decades, my folks had inclinations when I was 5-7 years old but it wasn't until I was 14 in the middle of adolescence did things shift into high gear. My father was a prominent member of the community, an MD, and one would have thought he would understand. He didn't, and he didn't want to know so he disowned me to scare me into stopping this obsession with thinking I was a girl. At the age of 17 when my mother and father split up and she moved away, he agreed to send me to counseling which only lasted a few weeks. The therapist knew absolutely nothing and I realized I would have to go deep into the closet, so I did telling my father that I had been cured. 48 years later and I still struggle but at least I know that it wasn't a passing fancy. I am alarmed at the worldwide uptick in young people coming out, jumping into HRT, and having surgery. Sure I want what is best for our young people, I don't wish this on anyone, the decades of depression, guilt, shame, and pain of not fitting into the "gender" society says I should be. But, it would be a greater loss for even 1 person to wake up at 25 years old, out of the protected environments of schooling and into the workforce saying OMG, what have I done? I can't go back and I can't undo? Nobody wants that or regrets and nobody wants all the negatives I had to endure as a young person. I can honestly say, however, looking back as painful as it was at times, it was the necessary part of growing, being a human, and developing into an adult.

How can someone at age 10-15 going through puberty and all the other changes that non-questioning teens go through, possibly know that what they are doing with hrt and surgeries can be the correct move? Just because some adult says it will remove their pain and heartache, really? What happens down the road when they have to face other life situations that are as tough if not tougher, do they just follow the crowd, jumping to the latest advice on social media? They must ride out the storm at this critical phase of their life so that when they are out of the teenage years, entering the "real" world of work and making their place in society, they will know in their heart of hearts if they are truly trans. Being truly trans is not a fad, it is not a choice, it does not waver and it will be with you as you age so don't be in such a hurry, give your BRAIN a chance to figure this out. If you are truly trans, there will be plenty of time to make physical corrections to your body but then when you do, you will know with almost 100% certainty that it is the best way for you to proceed. It will be an easy decision, it will be based on Your life, your feeling, and situations, it will be your well-informed choice.

Sure, I wish I had been born a female and never had to go through all of this. I experienced tremendous pain, heartache, and illness but through it all, I matured, grew up and became my own person. I have had plenty of opportunities to transition over the years but it was my conscious choice not to for the sake of family, career, and personal goals. I did the best I could with the knowledge and support that we had in those days and yet I didn't go off the deep end, I dealt with one of life’s many storms that we all go through. Society is a lot better equipped and informed than when I was a youngster and the medical professionals know a heck of a lot more but it is always evolving as we continue to learn. So let's embrace that knowledge and use it for the benefit of the whole person, not just some quick fix so the stats look better on a graph that promotes our own agenda...let kids be kids, be there for them, love them and support them. I am not saying abandon them but allow them the dignity to grow at their speed and mature into the human that they were intended to be. Yes, I have many struggles in my life, being trans is just one part. It's on my mind most days and I am still working through it but I have not just survived but led a wonderful, fulfilling life. I am a functioning member of society, a contributor to the lives of many and oh yes, I am still Transgender. Please, let's not rush to judgment at such an early age, help a youngster to find their way but do so with mother nature’s help. The real truth will set you free.